About the writer

Why Substack?

Sharing my story isn't easy. It feels like scraping ice off a frozen windshield on a frigid morning - a necessity to get on with this journey.

So why did I create a Substack?

Firstly, I want to explain why I created this unique Substack. But more importantly, I want you, the reader, to understand why I believe I can write it.

For most of 2014, my family was thriving. I was in a happy marriage with a son and daughter. My two children were growing up into lovely young people and over that year we enjoyed some amazing experiences together on a New Zealand holiday. More importantly, we were enjoying each other’s company and interests. These moments represented the peak of my happiness. By the end of that year, our lives were irrevocably shattered. Our son died after a brief, brutal illness.

We went from a family of four to three. The grief was immeasurable, leaving a deafening void in our lives. In the years since, the three of us have had to navigate a world that often feels alien, its expectations jarringly out of sync with our reality.

I've sought answers, support, and understanding. I've worked with charities, spoken to numerous government organisations and officials, and even pursued a Master's degree in Business Psychology, hoping to understand why institutions so often fail those who are grieving.

What I've learned is this: when the unthinkable happens, you're often left to navigate a complex maze of emotions, practical challenges, and societal expectations, with little guidance. That's where "Beyond the Expected" comes in.