The Search for Meaning
How many of us, when recommended a book, choose to ignore this advice, even when it has sold millions of copies? Whether it is because we take the attitude that we will get around to reading it eventually, or perhaps we think it cannot be that good if everyone likes it. When we eventually do read it, we go around recommending it to everyone else. Reading a good book can have a huge effect on our lives, and it is something we want to share.
I often think about what book, from any genre, I would recommend that everyone reads. What would it be, and why? It would have to be easy to read, relatively short, and useful. It is safe to assume that I have not read all the great books. If anything, I am not what you call a “big” reader, but I have read enough to feel like I have a decent sample size to recommend something.
Being short and easy to read makes a book accessible to most people, encouraging them to invest their time in reading it. Making it useful is hard, as it must have worked in the past and must be future-proof. It must resonate across multiple generations. This means the book will probably have to contain some sort of philosophy to help a person live their life. Being a 25-year-old person today is not like being the same age in the 1950s. So, whatever the book has to say must get to the very core of what it means to be human.
Good fiction can contain a philosophy at its core. Often, characters must navigate difficult moral pathways. The protagonists often attempt to live a good life despite the challenges. That said, I think a non-fiction book is ultimately the one that will resonate with people. Think about movies you recommend; you will often find yourself telling a person it is based on a true story to somehow give it more gravitas.
The Last Book and First Book
The last book I read before my son died was also the first one I read after he died. I have often thought about why I did this. I had stopped listening to music, and reading was something I could not bring myself to do for a long time. I think I felt I needed a book not to escape, but to reflect the seriousness of my situation. Clearly, the book must have resonated with me, as I emerged from my self-imposed cocoon. I had metamorphosed into quite a different being. I wanted to get to the point of everything quickly, and I judged too many things as whimsical and unnecessary indulgences.
It's All About Meaning
I suppose I should reveal this book. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl is the book I recommend everyone should read at some point in their lives. I heard about it many years ago from many celebrities and businesspeople. Tony Robbins, the famous life coach, will often mention it in interviews, along with Stephen Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I ignored all this advice for decades and eventually read Man's Search for Meaning in my 40s. I had probably matured enough to stop thinking I knew the answer to everything. I had also realised that some of the people who had been successful in life might be worth listening to.
Man's Search for Meaning
The author, Viktor Frankl, was an Austrian Jew and a psychiatrist. Nazi Germany annexed Austria in 1938, and like many Jews, Frankl became a part of the Holocaust. He survived, and after the war, he recounted his experiences in the Nazi concentration camps, including the infamous Auschwitz. This alone would make an impressive autobiography. Frankl did more; he described what happened to him and his fellow prisoners as the catalyst for him finding meaning in all forms of existence, even the most brutal. He argued that the primary drive of human beings is not pleasure, as Freud believed, but rather the pursuit of meaning.
Frankl concluded that even in the face of unimaginable suffering, individuals can find meaning in various forms:
Meaning in work or deeds: This involves finding purpose in what you do, whether it is your job, a creative project, or acts of service. Frankl himself found meaning in his work as a psychiatrist (and one of the camp medics), even within the confines of the concentration camp.
Meaning in love: This refers to the profound connection with another person, be it a romantic partner, family member, or friend. The love for his wife was a source of strength and meaning for Frankl during his imprisonment. His wife, Tilly, died in Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, though he did not know this at the time.
Meaning in suffering: This might seem hard to understand, but Frankl argues that even in the face of unavoidable suffering, we can find meaning in our attitude towards it. By choosing how we respond to suffering, we can find purpose and growth.
First Reading Reaction
When I initially read this book, I was struck by the prisoners’ resilience against the extraordinary cruelty and harshest conditions. What was more was Frankl’s ability to find meaning in this environment. I was able to understand some of the fundamental principles of the book, and I wished I had read it earlier in life. It was impossible to understand the hopelessness of the prisoners’ situation. The level of injustices that people endured was incomprehensible and hard to read.
Second Reading Reaction
The second time I read this book was after my son had passed. Now I had some insight into hopelessness and injustice. I felt compelled to read every line and not baulk at the way prisoners were treated. I wanted to understand how they survived. This place was hell on earth. These people survived the most sadistic cruelty, and somehow most of them went on to thrive. I now knew that Frankl did not choose to find meaning; he had to find it. Just as we need water to survive, we also need meaning.
Finding Meaning
This book is only around 200 pages, but it is a distillate of what is important in life. Frankl went on to form a movement in psychotherapy called logotherapy and died in 1997. Individuals like him somehow could show us the faintest of lights to guide our way. I did not, and to some extent still do not, want to find meaning in my son’s death. (Un)fortunately, I do not have a choice. Whatever sustains us through our darkest moments is the meaning. This could be, and was, for me, the love of family and the need to look after them for my son. I am attempting not to waste some of the deeper insights I have learned about the human experience. Weirdly, I enjoy writing this Substack. I am essentially writing about the death of children and all that entails. This is not an easy subject, but at this present time, it is very much part of who I am, and I need to honour it.
In summary, Frankl’s book is about one of the worst chapters in human history. It has sold at least 12 million copies since it was published. Its reputation has meant it has become perceived as an antidote against evil. Surely it must contain something for everyone who reads it, even if they find themselves in the darkest periods of their lives. It is hard to imagine a person could read this book and not recognise how Frankl and all his fellow survivors endured circumstances at the very edge of what is possible. There is something in this book that can help a reader in the depths of their own despair. It can also help a reader to appreciate what is good in their lives.